Shomer negiah dating
There are other exceptions to this rule, such as a doctor treating a patient of the opposite sex.
Medieval rabbis allowed for a male doctor to examine a woman, despite the necessity to touch, according to the assumption that the doctor is preoccupied with his work ( with affection or desire, even if the act falls short of intercourse, violates a negative Torah commandment" (Lev. Ramban, also known as Nachmanides, on the other hand concluded that actions like hugging and kissing do not violate a negative commandment of the Torah, but only a rabbinic prohibition.
im not engaged and havent started dating yet, and an older friend told me its harder to be shomer negiah when dating and what not, but... It's easy to say "so don't touch eachother" or "don't see eachother" but after you've been seeing eachother two-three times a week and have gone through cloud nine with this person, you'll want to see eachother more often and seeing eachother more often is, as we said, grounds for leading to things that shouldn't be done at this point.
My point is not to make a "quick fix" but to realize that this is a true issue and some people really fall when it comes to this (people who never would have dreamed of having this "tayvah" before they met their Chusen).
Culturally, the physical interactions of men and women have changed drastically over the past 100 years, meaning that handshakes and hugs are a common sign of welcoming and collegiality and public transportation necessitates close quarters and frequent, unintentional touching.
The 20th-century Orthodox legal scholar Rabbi Moshe Feinstein examined these modern concerns by looking at public transportation in New York where he and his congregants lived.
Even though it has been difficult, I’m usually not sorry that I’ve been S. And I know women who have had pre-marital sex and then broken up with the man and they feel very bad. The first man I kiss, for me it will be like what having sex for the first time is for some other women. I’m not going to waste that on someone I’ve only met a few times.
Are people afraid of being sexual because they are shomer negiah? In my (non Jewish) work environment, I am often in a position to give encouragement to other people – sometimes I will pat someone on the shoulder or even accept a hug, even if they are a man. When I was young it was something that I heard about from friends in camp, school, and other Jewish places where I met people my own age, but not everyone was actually S. by default, because they didn’t know enough boys to not be S. I never gave it much thought actually because I was one of the “S. I was definitely very attracted to men and thought about kissing and sex a lot. I remember saying once to a frum friend of mine that if the voice of G-d suddenly announced that pre-marital sex was OK, all of us would jump into bed immediately. But now I wonder how much of it wasn’t exactly that we wanted to keep the halacha, but instead the halacha being an excuse for something else. N., when I was younger, was a way to say “I don’t want to do sexual things because I’m too young or I’m not ready or I’m scared.” A way to tell boys “We can date, but I won’t do anything physical with you until I know that you really love me and will stay with me, because you’ve married me.” Only instead of saying all that the words we used were “I’m shomer negiah” because that is an acceptable way of saying it in our culture, instead of “My father would kill me.”Now that I’m writing this, I wonder how much this was true for the religious boys, also? I guess if anyone ever finds this blog their first question will be “why in the world are you (still) shomer negiah? But first you have to understand why I became shomer negiah in the first place. Just a few decades ago, if a girl was uncomfortable about going “too far” with a boy, she could say “I can’t do this, my father would kill me,” and the boy knew that this meant he was dealing with a “good girl” and had to back off. If a girl says “I don’t want to get any more physical with you because I’m not ready, because I’m scared” or “because I’m too young,” then the guy can just laugh and say What is your problem? I did not grow up in an environment where being shomer negiah was expected of anyone.
You see, once someone has gone through so much time being S.