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Posted by / 11-Nov-2019 04:21

Though racial microaggressions are felt by every marginalized group within the dating realm, I am building upon my own personal experiences with heterosexual, cisgender white men to offer suggestions on how to ease racial tensions that may arise in a white man/black woman pairing.Once, I was at a bar with friends when two white men approached me.One was a guy who was interested in talking to me, and the other was acting as his wingman.The wingman walked up to me as his friend stood beside him and screamed over the music, “You’re perfect!These are harmful stereotypes that will not only make your black partner uncomfortable, they will further marginalize them.You should want to date a person because you like who they are and have compatible views and interests, not because their race is the next thing to do on your bucket list or because you were enthralled by their “exotic ways” (honestly, are you doing an anthropological study on black culture? If you answered no to these questions and you think those assumptions on black womanhood are downright absurd (hint: they are), then perhaps you are well on your way to showing a black woman that you want to date a complete person and not a stereotype!So in order to combat the harmful stereotypying of our people, try to compliment us without the caveat! It’s assumed that that everyone belonging to that group thinks and behaves the same way, but that is never – – the case.When getting to know a black woman, don’t ask them to be the authority on black culture.

And while of course the topic of race should be an ongoing conversation with your significant other, things would go a lot smoother if men — — were able to identify and prevent racial tension from the very beginning.

We ended up hitting it off, but it wasn’t until our first date that I realized I had underestimated the wingman’s abilities.

The guy did, in fact, have some kind of black girl fetish.

And when these stereotypes are internalized and then manifested in society, it could have severe consequences.

More often than not we are looked over for jobs, we do not receive adequate education or medical care, and we are imprisoned at much higher rates than our white counterparts all because blackness is rarely associated with positivity. Often, someone from a marginalized group is expected to be the authority on that group’s culture, but that’s an unreasonable expectation.

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Instead, remember that black women, like all people, have varying interests, backgrounds, and obstacles that they face daily.

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