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Elephant Beach on India’s Andaman Islands was not where I thought I would have to justify my life choices.Yet, there I was, feet dipped in clear water, staring into the horizon, trying to convince two middle-aged women whom I did not know that the man I was with was indeed my husband.Then the other woman, who had remained silent until then, asked me for proof. When many Indians see one of their women with a man of a different race, they make assumptions, and offer unsolicited advice.An Indian woman who has got a white man must be enlightened, even by complete strangers.“I was so angry that I shrieked, and we ran after them. Then seeing that I was not going to go, he apologised.” Another time, a group of men sneered as they passed by the young couple: “? )” My friend Neha Belvalkar’s first visit to India after two years in a film school in the US was “appalling,” in her words.
Or whether Ketki would have been asked to leave the building she was living in, in Nashik, because other residents did not want their children to be exposed to a “modern, unmarried mixed couple,” as some might put it.
Ketki Pradhan, a French teacher in Pondicherry, told me about the time she was holding her German boyfriend’s hand when a group of men started making vulgar gestures.
“One of them grabbed my other hand and held it very tightly for a few seconds, and ran away,” Pradhan recalled.
Milan resident Divya Kapahi was visiting Jodhabai’s palace in Agra with her Romanian husband when their tour guide made a comment that angered her.
“While talking about Akbar’s many wives of different faiths, he cited our marriage as an example,” said Divya.