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The most important things that both parents can do to help kids through this difficult time are: Adults going through separation and divorce need support — from friends, professionals, clergy, and family.But don't seek support from your kids, even if they seem to want you to.No matter how inconvenient, try to accommodate your ex-partner as you figure out visitation schedules.It's natural that you'll be concerned about how a child is coping with this change.The discussion should fit the child's age, maturity, and temperament.But it should always include this message: What happened is between mom and dad and is not the child's fault.
Sometimes stress comes out in other ways — at school, or with friends, or in changes to their appetite, behavior or sleep patterns.It's enough for them to understand what will change in their daily routine — and, just as important, what will not. You might say something like: "Mom and dad are going to live in different houses so they don't fight so much, but we both love you very much." Older kids and teens may be more in tune with what parents have been going through, and might have more questions based on what they've overheard and picked up on from conversations and fights.Tell kids who are upset about the news that you recognize and care about their feelings, and reassure them that all of their upset feelings are perfectly OK and understandable.Thousands of kids experience the stress of divorce each year.How they react depends on their age, personality, and the circumstances of the separation and divorce process.