10 simple rules of dating my teenage daughter

Posted by / 29-Jun-2020 16:22

10 simple rules of dating my teenage daughter

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s father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter? He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter? If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:- Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.- Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.- Places where there is darkness.- Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.- Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.- Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay.- Hockey games are okay.- Old folks homes are better. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:- Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.- Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.- Places where there is darkness.- Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.- Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.- Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay.- Hockey games are okay.- Old folks homes are better. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.

My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. The first time I went to pick his daughter up, I tried to make conversation with him.

Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. ******** ROTFLMAO That's about how it seemed while I was dating the girl who would eventually become my wife. Talk to them about politics, although if you are on the wrong side, this may be like walking on pins and needles.Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. Yeah, but the fixtures are too fragile to hang on and the cuffs leave too many marks on girls wrists..gotta try the furry wrist bindings. Of course my sister'll probably leave you tied up in a ditch once you've done her floors and windows.This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. The nice guy role works very well for me It works well for me too - except this one case where a girl down the street from me (in my old house) had her parents in LOVE with me - I was seriously afraid of her dad and refused to go over to her house - I'm glad I moved.He told me he went to Camp Perry every other year, and was on the local marksmanship team. If you are offered wine or a drink, take the drink, but for heavens sake, don't drink more than the father.(He was little chagrined when I brought my own national match M1A and did better than him with a long gun at the 200 meter TVA range. If he has one glass of wine, you should only have one.

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Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. I said who she was and asked him if he knew them, and he said and I quote, "They aren't Italian, I don't have to know them." Eventually he became comfortable with me over time, and I was allowed at their house any time I wanted.

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